My December

This is My December

December is always a time of sadness and pointlessness for me. It's not real, it's just a feeling I get, as hordes of citizens shop madly for Christmas presents and cards for everybody in their lives. I'm part of that horde of citizens, but not happy about it. Life just becomes too much for me in December. I know I'm not the only person like this. Linkin Park has a great song about December, which matches my feelings exactly. I usually can't listen to that song much at this time of the year, it's too depressing.

But this year is better than most. This is the first Christmas where I'm married! We got married last May. So I have someone - a whole family in fact. That means all the difference. I'm no longer alone, I have people to share my life with. All the happy and sad moments are all good, keeping me busy, making me feel useful and parental.

New Years Resolution Time

In December, I spend a lot of time reflecting back on the past year, usually focusing on all the failures and feeling overwhelmed. It takes effort to remember all the positive things that occurred, and when I do, some of the pain is relieved.

I think this is the normal balance of life - at the end of our year, we have a chance to mentally review all the things we wanted to do, how much of those we actually accomplished, and how far we've come. It is painful, but important. I learn two things from these thoughts, which helps me with next year - I realize how much I can actually accomplish during 1 year (so I don't overestimate next year), and I can decide which things to continue working on in my life, what things I want to change, where I want to go, what I want to do, which charities I want to contribute my money and time, and so forth.

In December, I read my New Years Resolutions from last year and plan new ones for the next year. When I do this seriously, the feelings of failure and overwhelmingness completely wash away, and I am my usual chipper Paulio self once again, through the end of the year!

January Comes

Then, in January, the new energy comes! The energy of making these projects come to life. By mid January I can't imagine what I was depressed about in December. There's a bright new year that has been launched, and the future is limitless! Accomplishing my resolutions will be easy! (They always seem easier in January than they actually end up being, by a long shot.)

This is what I've observed about my life, in many years past. It's interesting what solutions you can find to help you get through tough times. I suppose it varies between people. But if you feel the same things I feel in December, I recommend these steps.

1. Honestly review your year, and your life. Don't judge yourself or put yourself down, just look objectively at all that went down. What have you learned? In what things are you more experienced? If you have a list from last year, you can review it - some things you accomplished, some you probably didn't. It's all OK. Don't block yourself from feeling what you feel about it, remember that it's OK to be you. You're the only you you've got.
2. Imagine what you'd like to be, what things you'd like to accomplish in the future. Think about every category of your life. What do you want to accomplish related to things you like? Hobbies? What skills / knowledge do you want to learn? What do you want related to your job/work? What about social things - friends, family, etc.? What spiritual goals or accomplishments do you want to make? What food changes do you want to make? What money will you need, and want, during the next year? Dare to put down what you really want, even if it seems totally out of reach to you at this time.
3. For each of those goals, write down their purpose - why you want them. What's the reason? What would the results be if you had them? How would it help you, or others? Would it be fun? Do some of them interconnect, and create multiple improvements in your life?
4. Now, for each of those goals, write down as many practical tasks you can do to accomplish those goals! What steps can you actually take that will get you at least part of the way there? Be honest with yourself about what you can accomplish during the next year.
5. Schedule the next step of each goal into your calendar for January.

You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel if you follow this general guidelines for your life.

technorati tags: december, depressed, new year, resolutions